It has been a while since my last post, but this story brought me out of my slump. Bryan Jason Landis, he was arrested for one of the largest car burglary rings in Pennsylvania history. No this isn't where the story gets good, it gets good when his girlfriend gives the quote of the year. Check out this article.
Rollback price $19.98, not no damn dollar store.
I couldn't find a picture of the couple mentioned above, but I am pretty sure they looked like these two.
Thank you to the girlfriend of Bryan for reading The Christoff Project.
Looking for that perfect gift for that toast loving, laptop addicted, friend of yours. Look no further. This is best new product to come out in years, no, how bout BEST EVER. You know all the times you have been stuck in a hotel room with your laptop and a loaf of bread, pretty much every other day. Did you ever say to yourself, "damn if only my laptop could make toast, ahh what a perfect world this would be". You can thank me later for that perfectly crunchy bread and keyboards.
Coming soon the USB drive that doubles as a butter knife, mmmm mmmm toasty.
Is digital photography ruining our legacies. I was listening to the radio and the host brought up a valid point about digital cameras, something I had never thought about. When we take pictures using digital cameras we can immediately see them and discard the "bad" ones. Well remember when you were growing up and you got film developed and there were thoses couple of pictures where you looked like crap. This was part of growing up having the pictures you were embarassed about. Now we have digital photography where essentially you have only the photos you approve. Imagine when this next generation shows their pictures to their children and mom and dad, at their age, look good in every picture. Is perfection the level they will think they have to live up to? Just a little food for thought, I would love to hear your comments.
I don't even know where to start on this one. I recently saw a commercial for Viagra that made me shake my head in disbelief. I am prettty sure Elvis is rolling over in his grave, Viagra can even bring that stiff to life. Seriously I just can't take the bombardment of drug commercials. Every other commercial I see is about how I have allergies, erectile dysfunction, high blood pressure, acid reflux, high cholesterol, herpes, and a sleep disorder. Who wouldn't want some Lunesta with those pretty little floating butterflies easing you to sleep. They even make herpes sound like a good time with the couple that goes biking, sailing, and swinging in a hammock. I mean come on you have oozing sores in your crotch, riding a bike doesn't sound comfortable. I'm done, I have to go get an erection and play with some butterflies while I ride a bike on a sailboat. Hell maybe even a jam session with the E.D. crew. Life is better with drugs.
Eww lah lah, so apparently the French people think the American people are stupid. Individually wrapped ice cubes, you have got to be kidding me, who would pay for this. Most fridges have filtered water, and a freezer, from which comes the frozen water miracle we call "ice", if not there is a crazy little thing called an ice tray. Stupid Frenchy Frenchman.
This is a poster used by Texas democrats running for office in 2006. The picture shows a joined Mexico-Texas. They used this in an attempt to gain the large hispanic vote in southern Texas. This scares the sh*t out of me, and no it is not because I'm racist or a hatemonger, it is because I value my American way of life. Democrats are not the only ones watching our borders disintegrate, republicans are right there with them. Enforcement of immigration laws, already on the books, is virtually nonexistant. Anyone with half a brain can see the bipartisan agenda to create a joined Mex-Ameri-Canada. I feel helpless as I watch "our representatives" not representing our interests as they try to shove immigration reform bills and this North American Union down our throats. How about you enforce the laws we already have, punish the businesses that hire illegals, and end welfare. If we can't convince the government to enforce the laws we already have then how are they going to enforce new ones. Also, if I hear one more time that they do jobs that Americans don't want to do I am going to shoot myself. The only reason Americans won't do those jobs is beacause they have no incentive to when the government will hand them a check, and hold their hands as they light their crack pipes. Ask anyone from the Depression era if there was a job they wouldn't do.
As we listen to Al Gore go on incessently about global warming, how we are all evil, and oil is the devils blood, I began to wonder just what I could do to help. In my search I ran across this sticker on Glenn Beck's website, just my little way of "sticking" it to the unintelligent tree hugger crowd.
I think I am blogstipated. I feel I have a good blog in me that wants to come out, but I think it is stuck. So bear with me I will bust out some new stuff soon.
I want to get serious for a few moments and discuss the greatest threat to our way of life. You are probably thinking terrorists, well you are partly right. There is a terrorist magician among us, his name is David Blaine. His enclosed ice tricks, holding his breath under water, and many other horrendous acts. This tortuous behavior struck a chord with me and I had to speak out, watch these videos and you will agree with me.
I love this guy, he deserves some kind of homeless award. If there isn't a homeless of the year award give him a grammy no one cares about those anymore. Stupid Ninjas and their dumb swords.
I saw a commercial yesterday that intrigued me yet at the same time scared me. It made me think why do we use words when we could use acronyms. Think of the possibilities, You could tell your girl TDTM IWSN and then she would say GYPO, now we're talking. Hey BOHICA, then B4YWKI I would be done, CWYL HAK ILU. With just those few letters you just had sex my friend. I know you are thinking WTF LOL, I wish I could do that with my sisters BFF she's PHAT. . I am telling you the possibilities are endless. But to be serious have we gotten this stupid and lazy I think the answer is yes. OMG,POS,GTG nevermind ROTFL it was juat the dog she looks just like mom.
If you need a translation read below...
For Example, You could tell your girl Talk dirty to me, I wanna see you naked, and then she would say Get your pants off, now we're talking. Hey Bend over here it comes again, then before you know it I would be done, chat with you later, Hugs and Kisses, I love you. With just those few letters you just had sex my friend. I know you are thinking what the f*ck, laughing out load, I wish I could do that with my sisters best friend forever she's pretty hot and tempting. I am telling you the possibilities are endless. But to be serious have we gotten this stupid and lazy I think the answer is yes. Oh my god parents over shoulder, Got to go, nevermind, rolling on the floor laughing, it was just the dog she looks just like mom.
I was just thinking the other day about the best prank I never did. So I had this idea to dress in a spiderman costume, yeah I know it is sounding cool already. So anyways I would get a ladder and climb onto the roof of my friends house. I would then crawl into position maybe shoot a web or two, then the culminating moment would be when he looked up at his skylight and saw Spide..Spide.. Spiderman. Yeah it would have been sweet.
Believe, that was the slogan for last years Cub team. Well I believe we finished in last place in the National League. So we made some great off season acquisitions and my hopes have never been higher for a baseball season. Well after 11 games we are in last place. My confidence level has gone from 100% to 89%.
99 years since the last world series win, the time is nigh.
Jude has been one of my favorite singer songwrtiters for years. He has a new band called the Low Stars. They kinda have a CSN (Crosby Stills and Nash) sound, I am going to see them play on the 22nd.
Alright I am sure this will be the 213,078th time someone will write about this, but I have something to say. Imus used a term that blacks use all the time, and he did so in what he thought was a comedic statement. This isn't the first time someone has used a racial slur for comedic purposes, comedy routines have them all the time. Was this any different, maybe, maybe not. As far as him being fired over this I think that is ridiculous, let the audience decide not Al "not so" Sharpton. If everyone is truly as outraged as they say then they won't listen anymore. Somehow I don't think that would happen. These negative terms are used all the time in everyday conversation in schools, and in the black community. This is where the problem lies, not whether or not Don Imus is a racist. He is just a old white guy who isn't funny. What we should be looking at is where is the cutoff point, a white guy can only say certain words, for comedy or not. Do I need a separate dictionary? But if you are one-quarter black does that give you the right to say nappy, or ho's, or do you have to be at least 50% black or 100%black, where is the line. I mean it is getting ridiculous what we can and can't say and who is allowed to say it. It seems that everytime a racial comment makes the news it is from a white man. I guess there isn't a single racist man of any other ethnicity in the country. Seriously I think we should say what we feel, I would rather no who the racists and sexists are then have them hide their true feelings with political correctness. Ahhh "political correctness" such a noble idea, lets all be nice and only say nice things, lets get rid of the bad words. The day handicapped became handicapable is when I knew political correctness took a turn toward hell. I mean it doesn't take a genius to see that eventually handicapable will be just as politically incorrect and derogatory as handicapped, they are just replacing words.
I have often wondered why people feel the need to round their credit card receipt to nearest whole dollar. the only place you can really do this is in restaurants. There is no good explanation for this, seeing that every other purchase you make isn't a whole number, why is this one time so important. You could make the weak argument that it is easier to keep track of in your checkbook, whatever. Here is a little recreation of what goes on inside the head of "the rounder." Look at this Sue I can make this whatever I want, I could give 20% or I could round down to the nearest whole dollar, yeah that sounds better, I will tell him he did a good job that's worth at least $20 of feel goodness, I feel good inside, I am a good person, I kick ass, Jesus loves me, I need to poop."
It has been a while since my last post, but this story brought me out of my slump. Bryan Jason Landis, he was arrested for one of the largest car burglary rings in Pennsylvania history. No this isn't where the story gets good, it gets good when his girlfriend gives the quote of the year. Check out this article.
Rollback price $19.98, not no damn dollar store.
